No, I'm just kidding.  I don't do mescaline.  I know you guys at the FBI have had my journal bookmarked since its inception.  I know the local Sherrif is chewing on a toothpick, computer screen reflecting in his ray-ban sunglasses, hiding his beady little eyes...  If I had a boss, he would be foaming at the mouth reading this stuff.

But honestly, it's hard to support a mescaline habit, cocaine, AND cases of Maker's Mark when I'm unemployed.  Oh?  Did I say unemployed... I meant.. Hmm.  Financially viable, yet, independent of working class society.

I learned that in one of those "I Wanna Be A Lawyer When I Grow Up" books.  The ones that give you the low-down early on things like how to screw your friends, how to lie, and how to present yourself as America's sweetheart.  I can't help but think I took a wrong turn somewhere in life and ended up flying down the cliff-edged roads, racing along with James Dean, a fifth of whiskey in my hand and one lying empty in the backseat, rushing toward that curve and living fast!

Yet!  I think I'll make it.  Of course, I'm sure that's what Jim said too.  But hey, if you go fast enough you just might not see what hits you and then there's no need to worry about it.  Right?

Speaking of going fast (check that out for a nice little concept reversal) I've broken 36k on my story and NaNoMoFo!  I've excited.  It's been a little bit of a rocky section, but like I said earlier - kill off some of your characters and things go great.  So what I'm thinking is that Sex and Violence really do make great stories that people want to read.

For example, how 'bout Shakespear - you know the fruity looking dude that wrote all the Sonnets we had to remember in school (well, you did - I was smoking in the bathroom).  Well, Romeo and Juliet.  What's that have?  Fueding families right out of Jerry Springer ("I ain't gittin' wif yo' momma anymore, you can'ts has my dotters hand im murrage." *chair throw*).  Star-crossed lovers.  Soul mates, if you will.  And after bringing us to that lofty, lovely place, what does the greatest writer in the world do?

He fucking kills BOTH of them.

So, yeah.  If you can pull that off, you've got a winner.  I'm not willing to kill off my main characters, but don't mock the death scenes - like Psycho, they're some of the best and most memorable sections of your story.

I'll be here tomorrow unless they catch me!